I never climbed the Himalaya, I never wanted to. I still do not want to. I remember being in Denver some years ago and having to go to an office on the 17th floor with some super fast elevator and always having been amazed at my own trust in Engineering. I do not fear heights. Still, the fear of heights is what has me now.

I have been enjoying a delightful break after the madness up to the 22nd. It was the kind of madness that I love, the madness that makes me feel alive and well.

The question of identity has been very much on my mind. I am wondering how to balance the imperative of living out loud within the paradox of being a very private person.

I have again made the experience that the texts that I publish under pseudonym are hard on the reader. That is, the reader can get his or her ego caught in the words, and then the result is aggression towards the scribe. That aggression will take different forms, and I have wondered what that aggression has to do with me.

The fact is that I am only one person: one body, one mind, one spirit. To me it is hurtful to find my expression rejected and my person attacked because I dare being loud and sincere about that which is truly mine. What goes on inside me is truly mine. You may like it or not like it. It may touch you or leave you cold. In the end what my prose and poetry invoke within you has nothing to do with me, and all to do with you. I may or may not share your sentiments, they are yours. Do not burden me with the fact that in reading those texts, your ego shatters. I have no concern for your ego. I do not care. I write for myself, I write for the sheer madness that the need to write is. My writing, especially that under pseudonym, is one of the highest expressions of my egoism. It is mine. I share life, I publish my texts, they are an invitation into my journey, my mind, and my spirit. You may accept, you may decline. The choice is yours, it always was.

I am alone. I like my solitude. If you enter my world and share it, all I ask is that my one aloneness be respected and my solitude be honoured. Being truly connected is nothing more than the present awareness of the other’s autonomy and independence. Accept the experience, there is nothing else to do.