My double life…

Obviously I like his approach, otherwise why would I keep on hanging around with a man who never calls me by my first name during those so intense and private moments of our intimacy?I have however had a few surprises while writing under pseudonym, and then a few more when disclosing that I do so….  I have a third name tacked on to the official Dannie Jost, but it is one that I do not use every day since it is the relic of my long departed third husband, it is an arab name that makes it rather comfortable to enter any country in the middle east, but brings about all sorts of discrimination and misunderstanding in the rest of the world.

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Oh, while we are at it, make it triple, make it multiple! Make it my life!

I do not have a thing to hide, yet… But wait a minute, there are things that I do not want being discussed in public. Things? Like what things?

Things! I tell you things….

Let’s start with my pseudonym, or is it pseudonyms? Here is the first riddle, read the previous question. Be passive, be active. What difference does it make?

We are simply fascinated by the first person singular, and it does not matter if it ours or another’s. Blogs work to the surprise of many futurologists and trend researchers – a clear abuse of the term researcher – and that is only because of this little quirk of our nature: we like it in the first person singular. And we like being called by our name. You know the proverbial nightmare of calling your dear one at the worse possible moment by the wrong name, and you know about the dire consequences of that. My dear one is not into using names at such times, but he has called me God on a few occasions. Obviously I like his approach, otherwise why would I keep on hanging around with a man who never calls me by my first name during those so intense and private moments of our intimacy?

I have however had a few surprises while writing under pseudonym, and then a few more when disclosing that I do so.

First, not that it surprises me that it is so, but it surprises me to have others admit to doing the same. It reminds me of other hidden practices that we have including online dating. Here too, when I told two close friends of mine about my experience with online dating, I got back a couple of big confessions on how they have done it too. I bring the hidden to the light, and then, there it is, I am not alone, we are all hiding somehow in plain sight.

Second is how very significant and meaningful the pseudonym is to me. It makes me wish that I had chosen something more neutral to me, and it would not be clad with so much of my meaning. I thought that I had created it out of the blue, and what I have discovered is that that name does mean something to me.

Third surprise is that the pseudonym thrives in its very real virtual reality. After all, that other one has neither the benefit nor the disadvantage of my civil name. My civil name is in itself also quite a pseudo in many ways since my parents did give me another name when they registered my birth. I have a third name tacked on to the official Dannie Jost, but it is one that I do not use every day since it is an inheritance from my  long gone third husband. It is an arab name that makes it rather comfortable to enter any country in the middle east, but brings about all sorts of discrimination and misunderstanding in the rest of the world. Some of these details are peculiarities of Swiss law in what pertains women’s family names and their usance. What is in a name?

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