Note to Myself: Things Unexplained

Completion is a wonderful thing. Yet, as far I am concerned, I postpone that one to no end, or so it seems. It is as though I often steer right clear of what gives me the most joy. Completion is a source of joy.

Earlier this week I went through one of my project boxes that had been waiting to be sorted through since I finished that project a couple of years ago, note that I did not write complete. This box has been shifted around, moved from one place to another and well, left waiting. Postponed, joy postponed. Why did I have to wait a couple of years to go through this? I sometimes really wonder what is going on and what it is that I hear and read about while all sorts of people are complaining and rambling about postponement, getting things done and, well just getting on with what they think is important.

Warning: this is a long diatribe on personal development and is not recommended for those wanting to remain unchallenged.

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So what is completion? I had hoped that among all the papers that I have collected over the years I would have saved some of the notes on completion from the JMW times. It could be that they are somewhere in the cellar in one of the boxes with those papers that I considered less important but from which I could not yet separate myself. My archival talents having failed me, I resort to the wikipedia and find there the mathematical definition for completeness. Not bad, in fact, a damn good place to start. I had enough modern algebra to be really cozy with such a concept. It is also not seldom that when I search for the meaning of a particular term, I do go back to mathematics as it is one of the more abstract representational languages that I can deal with. I love the abstract, to me it is damn real.

Completeness can also be looked at the as the choice to let it go. The whole idea of completion is nicely exposed in “Success Built to Last” and other perhaps more esoteric texts coming from the human potential movement. Like any emerging discipline, the human potential movement is widely disputed among scholars and critics. My approach to any school of thought is that it is a school of thought, it is not the ultimate truth, and it is not it, or god, or the salvation, or whatever it is that so called seekers are looking for. I am not into gurus or prophets, and I can be equally inspired by the cleaning man, like I am by the overachiever intellectual. I learn from both good teachers and bad teachers. Actually, I am often touched, seldom impressed by another human being. It is damn tough to impress me, but then that is me, and I do not question my own insignificance either. I do question however my own tendency to deny myself that which gives me joy and satisfaction. Bringing an endeavor to completion is one of those most joyous experiences in my life. When you complete, you let it go. There is no pride, no guilt, just acknowledgment of what is and what the lessons learned were. Completion is not about burying one’s head in the sand and going into denial, pretending that it never happened or that all is hanky dory and that the own person is the greatest gift of god to humanity. Completion is about detached acknowledgment of what there is, without judgement, but with an eye on the lessons from all the experience.

Completion in business projects is one of the rarest of practices, and one of the keys to success. It could be that within the tensoriana.org series I will write something about this process and how to implement it. In coaching, be it team or individual, again, completion is one of the key elements that when fractally propagated makes all the difference on what results are achieved.

Right now what I have discovered about myself is that I am damn stingy with completion when it comes to my own stuff. I do completion all over and insist on bringing it about, get great acknowledgment for my efforts, and then go on to not practice what I preach. The issue here is not with completion, completion is one of its most visible manifestations. The issue here is with me not giving myself permission to be like the rest of the mortals. For some odd reason I often think that I have to do it better than the rest of the world, and this is starting to be really tiring. No wonder that it is tiring, to think that I have to do it better is equivalent from disconnecting from the rest of humanity, it isolates and brings me out of balance.

It is time to reconnect. I will start by going back to some of those boxes begging for completion, and then I will see how I deal with the ecstasy associated with the release that comes from letting go of odds and ends and incomplete projects, that is, those bloody nasty ought to, should do, must do. I am clear on my goals, so this should be a piece of cake.

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