more photos from tensoriana

Had a short chat with my brother after I sent him the link to the video of my presentation at Lift07. Mind you, a video that took me days and several tries before I could watch it myself, at least in parts. It was a presentation that I was not happy with, really not happy with. It was the second time in my life that I let a presentation get out of my rational control. It is not comfortable to loose control in public, show emotion, and share facts of my personal life, and then in the last five minutes sort of get the curve and bring in what is a not easy to digest logic.

Perhaps it is not too surprising that this happened and that this happened at Lift with me on that day. It was not lack of preparation, and it was not lack of not knowing what the message was. The two to three weeks prior to Lift07 I slept very little, I read and wrote around the clock. I took rests of about 3 to 4 hours at a time, but restless was my state of being. Small wonder that on that evening I ended up at the emergency room of a Geneva hospital with what was nothing more than the consequences of exhaustion.

My brother was however shocked by what I shared with the audience, it was all so personal. It was indeed very personal, and at some level to me, that is all rather impersonal. That is the whole point, we are just one person, and our rational cool selves embody that personal stuff, and that personal stuff is what drives us and motivates us to keep on going. Richard Dawkins makes a good point with his Selfish Gene, but that is just the surface, namely the biology of what moves us humans. We are a lot more than that.

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