Change and Loyalty

Three months down the road in 2007, there is not much that I can conclude beyond my own perception, other than that change is taking place. Change is change, and I have taken it to call that these recent changes are good and leave me refreshed, although I would not generalize that all change is good. All is going differently than expected, and perhaps that is just the right measure. My expectations are rarely a good source of reliable information.

This week there were two events that mean a personal loss, yet I can not help it but to think that it is good that this is happening. I do not feel at liberty to share the details as they do not directly involve me, thus not mine to divulge, and this is just fine and dandy. This blog does not have in its subtitle “economics of the hidden” without a reason. The very simple fact that my life does not exist in a social vacuum, makes the containment of facts necessary, and limits what I can write here. There is power in constrain. Others are involved, people whom I care for dearly, people who care for me dearly, and people who think differently from me. Yesterday I learned of a decision that does mean a loss for me personally, and yet I am convinced that is indeed what had to happen. It feels strange and it invites to think a bit more.

Yesterday I went to see Babel with Frédéric, or rather he twisted my arm into going to the movies. After I realized that there were several new flicks that I wanted to go see, we could agree on Babel. Frédéric and I do not always agree on the kind of movies that we want to see, and this ensures lively debate in our discussions. Babel I found to be a fantastic film and the only great commentary that I could spew out at the moment was “Great for something coming out of Hollywood!” Clearly I do not have a high opinion of mainstream film making.

What did I like about Babel best? To me it is a film about technology, or at least, that is how I look at it. That it involves cultural subgroups that deeply and intimately interest me, makes it all the more relevant to me personally. Must however confess to have no ties to Mexico other than my one visit to Tijuana during my San Diego times. Then there is the whole mechanics of the storytelling. Of course, I like looking at Brad Pitt’s unshaven face just as much as the next woman. In this movie, it is however the women who have rather impressive roles.

Technology! I think that when one is in danger of bleeding to death because some little kid had no idea of the reaches and consequences of using some piece of mechanical technology and neither an ambulance or a physician are to be found, the last thing that one needs to know is that the media is covering the incident like a stenching rapacious megalomanic vulture. These two culture causalities do clash in the crassest possible way imaginable and that I find to be representative of the times that we do live in.

Then this morning I get up and find a message from a friend in a far far away land that leaves me thinking both about change and loyalty. This friend and I met in the most unlikely of all circumstances, one split second and we would have not met, and one day many years ago, somewhere near a shark aquarium, I knew that my human curiosity had just gotten the best of me. For the next few weeks I found myself in the oddest of all situations. If this had been just another casual affair between a man and a woman, I would not have stopped to even think about it. Yet, this has been a relationship that I still do not understand, and one that has nurtured me along the way in more ways than I will ever be able to communicate. He has a knack for telling good stories, and I have the fondest memories of walking along the water front in calm warm nights in another far away land, hand in hand, and listening to those stories. Then each one of us did drive away to separate destinations. Like it was then on the physical plane of our interactions, so it is in our lives now: we both have separate destinations, yet we remain connected beyond the rational.

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