So, what’s up doc?

Of all my childhood memories, it is Bugs Bunny that I am the fondest of! I love that silly wabbit! He is my true and only love. You could say that he is the man of my life! Television is so out, and it left good memories and a rich cultural legacy that is being ported to the Internet.

Ok, I am exaggerating, and if I am not exaggerating, I am just being silly myself. I woke up rather early this morning in spite of the fact that I hit the bed way past midnight. I was just thrilled pink and all excited last night, and today I have quite a lot of items  on the agenda. Still, this being “the next” and the pages where I communicate with the handful of friends who read it about what is indeed next in my life and what is going on right now that is creating the next, I felt the urge to share a few things that are on my intent list.

My intent list. Yes, I have one of those. I gave up on commitments long ago, like I gave up on promises. The only commitments that I have are to myself, and I never make promises. To me a promise is one hell of a source of stress, and I can only be true to myself. If you need “me” to promise “you” anything, go next door, the next door neighbour may be able to accommodate your needs better than I.

1. Within the next few months I will be consolidating my various blogs and put them under my own TLD.

2. Finally I have figured out on how to proceed with that project of mine that I have talked about for almost 10 years now, and a project whose proof of concept is done and came through with flying colours: tensoriana. I just have shared publicly preciously little about it. This is going to be changed: a wiki is going to created, and it is indeed what I always wanted it to be, a community project.

3. The bit with intellectual property strategy and patent valuation in particular is acquiring a dynamic that I had not foreseen, and I have no clue as to where that is going, all I know is that I have given up my resistance to actually doing more work in this area. My IP hiatus is over.

4. I am thrilled about creating a workshop (or two) for Shift (September 27-29, Lisbon) with Henriette on the subject of creativity.

That’s up!

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Rikki don’t lose that number…

I got back from Copenhagen on Sunday after a much too boringly exciting trip back. That means that I woke up way too early at 4 in the morning for a flight at 8:15. Took a taxi to the airport and was there much too early, and then almost missed my flight because the gate got changed and I was too immersed in my own thoughts to really notice anything beyond the noise inside my head. All of this because I had a minor upset at check-in, or just because I was lost in the hyper-space of my own neuron activity.  Finally I made my way from the C gates to the A gates having to go through security once more and all the thrills associated with having the rivets on my jeans set off the metal detectors once more. Then the airplane had some sort of technical glitch, we were delayed a few minutes and landed in Zurich ten minutes ahead of schedule.

I got back to Berne and needed to spend some time with friends and reconnect back to the hard-drive of this life. Went to see Volver with a friend in the evening and then slept until noon this morning. The afternoon was also pleasantly idle  with a walk in town and some wondrous moments contemplating the gardens, and the city. Feeling alive is the most grandiose of human experiences, and one of the hardest to capture. The subject of Volver is not an easy one to digest in spite of Almodovar’s cinematographic genius. Incest and sexual abuse remain phenomena that can not be comprehended, much less explained or clarified; it is one of those ugly facts of life. Deal with it we must.

Ok, I have been listening to Steely Dan and Van Morrison, and in some way I am lost in a world of abundance.

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Mechanics of denial: Identity

On a good day, I am a nihilist.
On a bad day, I am a mess.
The rest of the time, I am a monk.

I have often asked myself what it is about identity that had and still has me avoiding the subject, or just altogether disregarding it.  Less than two years ago I embraced on my next project. It did not embrace me. While the novel written in 2004 remains mostly unedited, I tackled the next one. I have several story projects that I revisit on occasions and that are awaiting the right kick to be written, these are the stories that I want to write for some reason that can only be called obsession. The 2005 story project is however about identity and I have gone through a lot of drafts that I quickly  discard, am unhappy with, or just turn my guts inside out. When my neighbour the other day asked if it is flowing, I answered that the lake was frozen.

The last few weeks have been a bit rougher than I had expected them to be, and I feel that I am walking on rather thin ice. I need to walk on thin ice every once in a while. I need a jerk, a push, a nudge. I can be just as content sitting out at the beach listening to the waves break at night or sitting in the garden smoking a cigar, doing nothing or watching the coming and going of the birds living their life.

Yesterday was a day of miracles, and today was a day of crashing. I had a few simple goals set for yesterday: to vote, to make a call to Copenhagen and to cook for my guests in the evening.

I voted and then found myself talking about italian politics on the phone while walking in the rain from a swiss polling place. Besides politics we discussed my cooking plans and I got excellent pointers on how to bake tandoori chicken. I got to read a bit, enjoy the daylight, and then bumped into a neighbour in the cellar. We ended up having some green tea and discussing literature and a few infamous books. After two hours of indian cookery and serious multitasking, my friends arrived and we had a few hours of animated discussion that included sacrificing three bottles in a more or less ritualistic fashion.

On a good day, I am a nihilist.

On those days of being a nihilist, I am very sure of my identity.

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